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Another List Blog.

  • 8 April 2014

I don’t know where this trend has come from but 90% of the articles now on Facebook are ’15 reasons why Turkmenistan is better than the Democratic Republic of Congo’, ’11 things you never knew you’d see while on a boat’, ‘The 8 bests benches in Wolverhampton’, ’412 reasons you’ll die alone and there’s nothing you can do about it’ etc etc.

Here’s a few reasons why I think they’ve become so popular:

  • They’re fairly easy to write
  • They’re not too long, so easy to read
  • There’s enough key words in the title so you can go “oooh that’s something I vaguely have/want experience in” or “that relates to me and my interests”
  • Each point is usually accompanied by a big, nice picture. Everyone likes a big, nice picture.

aka lazy ‘journalism’

Everyone knows how much I like to be in with the current trends, my 16 years of wearing multicoloured shoe laces proves that, plus any excuse for an easy blog entry. So here’s Lanor’s attempt.

1. Many people get confused with humpback bridges and humpback whales.

Whales

A humpback whale is a large sea dwelling mammal that can live for up to 50 years while a humpback bridge is a none living arch shaped structure that helps to get from one side of an obstacle to another.

2. Red Bull will cause behaviour problems

RedBull

Chatsmore Catholic High School in Worthing, West Sussex had to ban Red Bull after several students became hyperactive, noisier, stopped responding to instructions, and began arriving to school late after drinking the energy drink. If anything, you’d think they’d get to school early because ‘Red Bull gives you wings’. (Haaa! Haaaa!)

3. The trees are taking over!

Tree

There are more trees in the world than people. This means that if trees were able to think for themselves, move with any conviction and gain a hatred for humans then we would be outnumbered in a tree-human war. However, scientists say that when this situation arises, our experience and history of chopping, burning and general killing would work to our advantage.

Ironically, the resulting lack of trees and therefore oxygen would mean we’d all suffocate. We’re all doomed.

4. Manchester is boring

Manchester

“i have been to manchester. If manchester was a town, it’d be interesting, but for a city, its incredibly dull and boring bland scummy place. Theres nothing worth looking at there. Theres a wheel but its nothing compared to the one in LOndon. only the clubs are good. but thats not a good enough reason to live there. Its really derelict too and windy as hell. VERY BORING PLACE. You could do Manchester in half a day. Go to London instead.”

It’s OK to have an opinion, even if it’s wrong. Let’s all just remember that the above review is by an Australian and the number of grammatical errors is upsetting.

5. London is a big city in England.

London

It has the oldest underground system in the world, it has 270 stations of which St John’s Wood is the only one that doesn’t contain any of the letters from the word mackerel.

Check List: Write Your Own
  • Numbered
  • Not too much writing
  • Pretty pictures
  • Lots of adjectives
  • Don’t say ‘apparently’ or ‘potentially’, everything is obviously 100% FACT
  • Poor attempts at being witty
  • Make fun of different cultures/countries

I fully expect this to go global so get tweeting and sharing with the obligatory ‘My favourite is number 3′. Then get back on to Facebook and read some more so you can feel enlightened, or if you want to do something useful you can write ‘412 reasons you’ll die alone and there’s nothing you can do about it‘ so I can see it and go “oooh, that relates to me and my interests’.

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